I wondered where the birds were going in the mornings. When I was younger, I thought they went to bird work and bird school (lol). I was kind of correct…kind of :). Diurnal animals starting their days in flight and song…and squawk. I wondered if they new they sang…even if we thought they didn’t know. Did they sing in whispers at night? There was a part of me that didn’t want to know the “truth” of them…at least as far as “humans” surmised. I in-joyed watching them Live. It took me a minute to realize that I seen the truth of them every time I observed them. They Live…eat, drink play, sleep, create, communicate, form relationships, bear offspring, sit still and alone, explore, feel, experience, etc. They exist here…as I do.
Night full of interrupted sleep. I opened my eyes as if I had just blinked. My solitude will be spent “in” nature this morning…..we must talk.
I dreamed of forever. Really, I did. There were so many looking for it. Desperate to find it. So many…holding on to perceptions of pain. Tearing at their hair and wringing their hands…avoiding the mirror for fear of seeing themselves and how they look. Instead…walking around looking at others. “Excuse me, are you forever”….I heard for the millionth time, as they approach each other (from the opposite men/women sides) with caution and expectation. ” I believe I have been hurt, and I need to be certain that you will be everything I need you to be, but allow me to be whatever I want to be….so that I won’t be hurt again.” As they go around in circles…repetitively, I overhear different conversations between two or more people. Some were even negotiating, or at least that’s the word that best describes what was taking place….trying to decide how he/she can be each other’s forever. A woman seen me watching, and approached me. She said, “It’s crazy out here, right? No ‘good’ men. I just need someone to make me hap…I mean, add to my happiness. I don’t have time for games. I have been hurt too many times. Men play too many….wait, look at him. He is so cute. And he’s looking at me. Hold on, I think I found forever. Wish me ‘luck’.” She walks away….before I can tell her that no superstitious belief is going to solidify forever. And amongst all that, she may never know that I didn’t relate to anything she said. But, oh well. In the mist of this, I see couples. Standing in front of each other, yet looking past each other…still searching for forever. There were groups of people speaking/lecturing in different areas. One I seen, was men yelling how women needed to be their idea of ladies, “Sexual freedom and independence is only allowed after women have committed themselves to their man…other than that, they’re whores”, they yelled…among things that women should do to please their men and keep them at home. A similar group had women in it. Yelling something about promiscuous women make them look bad, or something like that. There were a lot of religious/spiritual groups. Giving “advice” about how to “love” and what to look for in a partner…each genders role in relationships…and so on. Speaking about who we can and cannot be with. Talking about “laws” that are objective…but are not. Passing out memos of the current paradigm for relationships…and “real” connections. There were groups of women yelling how women don’t need men. I smiled as they watched men out the side of their eyes…or women. Other groups of women yelling about what a “real” man is, and what he’s supposed to do for his woman. There were a lot of healing places…and more being formed while I watched. What was most interesting about the healing places is that every customer seemed to be a recurring customer…in constant healing/recovery mode. I tried to tell them that as long as they hold others responsible for their emotions, happiness, peace, and Love….they will be constantly healing. But they didn’t “trust” my words, because “I was in denial of my own pain”. I usually don’t give advice unless asked, but they looked so sad. And the ones that were smiling, seemed like it hurt. But who am I to assume they aren’t happy or to think I can make them be. They had found forever…..in the healing process (could not help but say this in “The Twilight Zone” voice (lol)). There was so much going on. The children. The children is a tale unto itself. To speed up time and watch them get in different lines, groups, wondering around…searching for forever?…it can be disheartening. But curious, I Am…I observed.
— Beautiful Regard
— Life Is A Curious Thing…In-deed ♥
— The Freedom Of You ♥